Love In The South Park That Is
by LuffyKun3695
Summary: ON HIATUS! Stan and Wendy are still in love, but won't admit it to one another. Kyle has a date with Bebe and a new student has a crush on... Cartman? A tangled tale of love, swearing, insults, and pie. Stan/Wendy. Kyle/Bebe. Cartman/OC.
1. A Football Beginning

**Stan and Wendy are still in love with each other, even though they broke up. Kyle has a DATE with Bebe, and a mysterious new student has a HUGE crush on Cartman. In a tangled tub of love, swearing, insults, and pie, can our favorite bastards prevail? [StanWendy, KyleBebe, CartmanOC]**

This story is the very first fanfiction I ever wrote before I knew what the word fanfiction was. It's a bit of an odd story and I'm not sure what I think of it anymore. It's currently on hiatus, but I'm rereading through it and editing because it sometimes helps me to continue with a story.

Sorry yaoi fans! I don't have any homosexual pairs in this story! I know it's rare for me, but when I started this story, I didn't have any gay pairings in _South Park _that I cared for. Now I, of course, have my number one gay pair in Cartman/Kyle, but this fantastical pair is not featured in this following story.

There is an OC, her name is Luffy Davincourt, the same first name as my OC in my _Naruto_ fiction _I Just Wanna Say I Love You_. She is slightly based off of me, but not very much. I just used the name because when I wrote this I had a crush on Cartman and liked the idea of seeing my nickname near his name in writing. Pathetic, I know. But in reality, I think she's a driving character and she is. She is far from a Mary Sue, though.

Well, um I figure if I get any reviews or ideas from you fantastic people I'll restart the story. so if you like it, please to no hesitate to say so. And look forward to my new Stan/Wendy epic one-shot _Never Get Over It_.

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

"**Love in the South (Park, that is)"**

Chapter 1:_ A Football Beginning…_

Stan tossed a bruised football to Cartman, who caught it clumsily. He ran off at top speed, which was easily slower than all the other boys do to his bulk. The rest of the boys caught up to him effortlessly. "Uh... hey guys." Cartman greeted them in a slightly scared voice.

"KILL THE FATASS!" Kyle screeched in a rabid tone, his face screwed up in fanatically. The boys began to charge at the terrified Cartman.

"Screw you guys," Cartman threw the football to the ground, "I'm goin' home! I don't even know what we're playing!" Cartman gauchely waddled off the field. The other boys angrily watched

"Goddamit Cartman!" Kyle seethed. "Every time we're about to pounce on you, you decide to go home! You can't keep doing that or we won't play with you anymore!" he shouted at Cartman's retreating back. Cartman spun around to glare at Kyle in a manor that was second nature to him now.

"I don't need you!" he scoffed. "I can play _all _by myself! I can have _WAY_ more fun without you bastards." Cartman pivoted on his heel and began to amble away.

Kyle jeered "What are you gonna do? Go play tea party with your dolls?" The boys laughed, and Cartman blushed, remembering the time when he desperately wanted to find his father.

"I was going through a traumatic time goddamit! And you shouldn't have been spying you goddamn hippies!!!" he defended himself. "Mel Gibson says Jews are evil liars! You suck!!! And if you mouth off again I'll kick you in the nuts!" Cartman yelled angrily.

"Are we gonna play?" Stan asked cautiously, he liked to stay out of Kyle and Cartman's battles, he didn't know who's side to take, neither of them made good points. It was just pointless squabbling to him, and Stan just wanted to play football.

The boys turned to face Stan. Cartman raised his eyebrows. "Did you not just listen to me? I refuse to play with a goddamn Jew!" he glowered at Kyle, sparks shooting from his eyes.

"I don't wanna play with a fat ass either!" Kyle retorted, putting his hands on his hips. Both boys walked in opposite directions leaving the rest of the boys sitting on the field staring at their receding backs.

"Well," Stan said "Glad that's over! Let's play!" he shouted to the on lookers

"Yippee!" hollered the surrounding boys, getting to their feet and running to random positions. Stan ran to pick up the football Cartman had abandoned and threw it into the air.


	2. Kyle's Got A Date

Bebe Stevens is one of my favorite characters in _South Park_. A lot of people just consider her a skank but I feel that she is an extremely versatile character. Depending on how you use her. If you need a bitch, she can be a bitch. Manipulative and domineering, she's a fashion slave at the top of the food chain in the Fourth Grade. But if you need a sweetie, she can be one. She is loyal to her friends, fashionista behavior aside. And of course, if you a torn and sad girl, you simply use that need to please and be on the cusp of fashion and twist it. Perfect character.

Bebe is adorable. She can be gay or straight. Kinky or Vanilla. Crazy or cunning. She really is amazing. I love her with Wendy or Butters or Kenny. Even Kyle or Clyde or Stan. She's adorable. CLAPS FOR BEBE!

This story is old, the writing follows the original _South Park _formula very closely. I didn't really take the time to look into the possibilities of character development like I did in "Salty Kisses".

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 2:__ Kyle's Got A Date_

The next day Cartman and Kyle were on speaking terms again. Kenny and Stan weren't fazed; it wasn't as if Kyle and Cartman didn't do this _every_ day. As they stood together in the lunch line Kyle turned to Stan. "Hey Stan, have you seen Bebe lately?" he asked, blushing slightly.

"No, why?" Stan asked, confused. Kyle blushed thoroughly, the colour clashing horribly with the red bangs peeking from under his cap.

Cartman laughed heartily. "He's in love with that skank whore Bebe Stevens!!!" he fell over, snickers exploding from him faster than he could draw breath.

"SHUT UP FAT ASS!" Kyle screeched, kicking Cartman painfully in the gentiles. Cartman fell over again, but this time he wasn't laughing, although around him, Kenny and Stan were, while Kyle looked proud of his accomplishment.

Stan stopped laughing and turned to Kyle. "I think Bebe's sitting with W…W…Wendy." Stan choked out his ex-girlfriend's name. He was still very much in love with her, and swallowed down puke every time she spoke to him. He knew he couldn't throw up, if he did then she would know he still had feelings for her, but he was sure that she was becoming suspicious of him having to leave for the bathroom after everyone of their conversations.

Kyle saw Stan's obvious pain and patted his shoulder lightly, but then deserted him to talk to Bebe.

Stan overheard Kyle asking Bebe if she was interested in seeing a movie with him. He noticed that Kyle looked nauseous.

Bebe thought and then replied slyly, "On one condition."

"What's that?" Kyle asked nervously, dreading the answer.

"Turn around!" Bebe said playfully, gesturing to Kyle in a spinning motion.

"Why?" asked Kyle anxiously, standing in place, shaking slightly. He didn't understand what she was doing.

"Please just do it Kyle," Bebe begged, giving Kyle the puppy eyes, her lip wagging.

Kyle flushed again, and turned around precariously. Bebe took a long look at Kyle's butt, seriously considering his offer. "Alright!" she said finally, and Kyle turned back around to face her, still blushing, but looking less nauseous.

"Really?" Kyle asked delightedly, although still confused about Bebe making him turn around. He walked shakily away, smiling stupidly.

Wendy turned to Bebe with an angry swish of her velvety black hair. "BEBE!" she shouted "How could you date one of Stan's friends?!" she cried furiously.

"Oh come on Wendy!" Bebe protested, "Look at that ass! And really! You _still _like Stan. After you and Token brakes up you've been wanting Stan back. You never really wanted to brakes up with him in the first place! You just wanted to play the field, I told you, you whore! Stan's the only one in this white-bread town for you!"

Wendy reddened angrily and turned away, muttering "Bitch,"

"Maybe," Bebe retorted. "but you and Stan are meant to be." And with that statement, Bebe picked up her lunch tray and walked away, her blonde curls bouncing with each step.

Wendy sat alone at the lunch table Bebe had abandoned her at, playing with her mashed potatoes and thinking about what her best friend had said. Did she still love Stan? Did he still love her? No, he didn't puke when they talked anymore, for some reason, this made her heart sink. She sighed and continued to play with her food.

In the lunch line, having recovered, Cartman was giving new heart into tormenting Kyle about his upcoming 'date' with Bebe.

Between snickers he choked out, "Omigod! Heh, heh. This is too funny! The Jew and the whore! What a perfect couple!" He fell over hooting gleefully. Kyle angrily raised his leg. Cartman skittered away, his hands clamped protectively over his privates.

As they pulled up to the counter facing Chef, Cartman was avoiding Kyle's flailing legs. Chef smiled down at them. "Hello children!"

"HEY CHEF!" the boys chirped in their usual fashion.

"How are my crackers today?" Chef asked in their pre-programmed questionnaire.

"Good!" Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman replied, Stan didn't add his voice to the usual response, he wasn't in the mood.

"Bad," whispered Stan's lone voice, but Chef didn't hear him because Cartman was laughing and telling him about Kyle and Bebe, while Kyle defended himself against Cartman's taunts.

"Well Kyle," said Chef grinning, "I'm very proud of you! Finally getting some of that—"Chef broke into one of his usual risqué songs that left the boys staring at him with their heads cocked to the side.


	3. New Kid

This chapter is the first appearance of my OC, Luffy Davinport. She _was_, I will admit, inspired by a younger me. At the time I was writing this, I really loved Cartman and was totally fangirl-y. I put an OC with my nickname in the story.

This was the first fanfiction I ever wrote. I had no idea what a "Mary-Sue" was, but I don't think Luffy is one. She is not perfect and no one really likes her. She targets the man, rather than them targeting her. So, honestly, flames aside I think I did fine without knowing what I was doing.

I started writing this fanfic before I knew there was a place to post fictions. I was just bored and shared it with my buddies. They thought it was funny that "Luffy" was with Cartman so it was fine with me. I don't care if this is flamed. The fiction is so old what do I care?

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 3:__ New Kid_

"Well, students we have some exciting news today." Mr. Garrison greeted his class the next day; Mr. Hat perched on his left hand.

"That's right Mr. Garrison." Mr. Hat chirruped. "Today we have a BRAND NEW STUDENT from _Ohio_!" Mr. Hat clapped his tiny padded hands together.

Mr. Garrison smiled at his puppet, and then his fourth grade class. "Her name is Luffy Davinport"

"What a stupid name…" muttered Cartman.

"SHUT UP ERIC!" snapped Mr. Garrison.

Just then a girl entered the room. She was small, average height, and a little on the thin side. She had short, wavy brown hair with a red sheen, and sharp birch coloured eyes. She adjusted her glasses and smiled at the class. She had fangs.

"What a freak," grumbled Cartman. Mr. Garrison glared at him. Luffy eyes followed the voice to find Cartman. She stared and let out a low whistle.

She tugged on Mr. Garrison's pant leg and he bent down to hear her. "Who's the hottie in the second row? The one in the red jacket and the sexy blue cap?"

"_That!?_" Mr. Garrison asked in surprise. "That's Eric Cartman, the class fat ass."

"HEY!" shouted Cartman in distress. "I'm not fat, I'm pleasantly plump."

Luffy licked her lips. "I'll say you are." Kyle raised a red eyebrow and eyed Stan, this girl had issues. That, or bad, bad taste.

Luffy pushed Stan off his chair. Luffy scraped the metal school desk across the floor, as close to Cartman's desk as humanly possible. She positioned herself so she could stare at him.

Cartman didn't exactly know what to do. Whether to insult this girl, or bask in the attention she was paying him. He hadn't categorized her yet, which was unusual for Cartman. He wasn't sure if she was a hippie, freak, homo, or whatever. It didn't help that she was kind of cute!

Stan raised an eyebrow. He could tell Cartman was confused. Yet, he didn't want to laugh. Not yet at least. _Hmmm… fat ass love._ Stan giggled inwardly at that.

Now that the class had settled down, Mr. Garrison began today's lecture of Gary Coleman and _Different Strokes_.

- 0 -

Meanwhile, across the room, Wendy was scribbling a note to Bebe. Wendy's hand writing was incredibly neat for her age, Curly letters and beautiful structure. This was, of course, because she was a genius.

Wendy paused for a second to adjust her pink beret and toss her silky hair from her face. Little did she know that Stan had almost thrown up at the site of it.

She nibbled her pen cap, thinking, and then she decided how to close the letter. She scratched out the last line, then folded the note neatly, and passed it along the line of desks to Bebe.

- 0 -

When Bebe received the note, she was too preoccupied in deciding whether she liked 'Mrs. Kyle Broflovski' or 'Mrs. Kyle Stevens-Broflovski' more to read it at first.

When she finally got around to it, she had taken Wendy to the point of nervous twitching awaiting her answer.

Bebe unfolded the perfect note to find Wendy's incredibly neat hand writing. She sighed. Wendy was_ too _perfect. Bebe began to read the note, skipping over the words that exuded her, since she had the vocabulary of the average fourth grader.

_Dear Bebe,_

_It's come to my attention that we have this new student, whom is a female. I was wondering if we should invite her to join us in our so-called 'circle of friends.' She seems as though she's articulate and intellectual, and perhaps even cultured. In closing, should we invite her to hang out with us later tonight? At my house of course. She doesn't seem as if she'll be a threat to your current relationship and, of course, I'm not interested in anyone right now. AND DON'T QUESTION THAT!_

_Sincerely,_

_Wendy Testaburger_

Bebe smiled. What a liar. She was still in love. Bebe could pick that out. Sure, Stan didn't have Kyle's incredibly tight ass, but he was still nice, and _perfect _for Wendy.

Bebe flipped the paper over and jotted back a simple note. She was not nearly as eloquent as Wendy, so it was not only as neatly written, but a simple read.

She folded it less perfectly as well and passed it along the back row of desks back to Wendy. Who tore it open, as she had waited for it well through the lecture on _Different Strokes _and into the one on _The Facts of Life_.

_Dear Wendy,_

_O.K. That's cool. No prob. She seems nice, even if her taste in guys sucks ass. She doesn't seem bitchy at all, so we'll invite her after class. By the way, you're a liar. You are SO in love. _

_Love,_

_Bebe ;)_


	4. Girly Tendancies

This is a relatively short chapter. It's about girls being young girls. This story is so old. It's so bad and it no wonder I just threw it aside and put it on Hiatus. I love Stan/Wendy though. NEVER FORGET THAT! I love Stan/Wendy with all my heart and soul.

I always get confused in fandom with shortenings for pairs. It seems so sudden, like overnight there are hundreds of little slang terms for couples. I have to actually look some of them up. So forgive me my confusion. I'm learning them though:

Stendy = Stan x Wendy  
Kyman = Kyle x Cartman  
Creek = Craig x Tweek  
Style = Stan x Kyle  
Bunny = Kenny x Butters  
K2 = Kyle x Kenny

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 4:__ Girly Tendencies_

At lunch that day, Wendy and Bebe watched Luffy closely, seeing if she was "friend material." She hadn't done anything to convince them otherwise yet. She was flitting around Cartman, obviously scaring the four boys.

Luffy followed the boys to the lunch line. Chef greeted them in his usual manner, that was until he noticed the thin girl, adjusting her glasses.

"Who's this little cracker?" Chef grinned.

Luffy smiled sweetly and replied, "I'm Cartman's girlfriend." No one looked more surprised to hear this then Cartman.

Chef laughed deeply and responded, "I always thought the little fat ass was gay…" the other boys snickered, Cartman glared at Chef.

"Shut up you guys!" Cartman yelled.

Luffy frowned and leaned over the lunch counter, pulling Chef down until they were at eye level. "Look buddy, I like you, and I know Cartman thinks you're awesome… but I WILL NOT deal with anyone insulting my baby. So never again. Or they'll be hell to pay." She let go of Chef's collar and leaned back to stand next to the four boys. Her entire demeanor changed in an instant. Suddenly, she was sweet again. "Two lunches please, one with triple desserts for my Cartman. My treat." She winked at the stunned Cartman.

The equally astonished Chef handed the little girl her lunch, and she flounced off. Chef handed the other lunch to Cartman, who smirked, "Sweet…"

Chef's eyebrows rose as he watched the retreating Luffy. "You've gotten yourself a wild one there Cartman." He said quietly.

Kyle grinned at Stan, "Told you she was psychotic, to like the fat ass over here." Kyle motioned to Cartman, who spun on him.

"Shut the hell up Jew!" he shouted, glaring. Then he waddled away…

"Mmph mumm mph mmn MUMPH!" Kenny exclaimed. _[__**Kenny**__**translation:**__ "Holy Shit! Cartman's in love!"]_

"Oh my God," Stan agreed, "I think you're right Kenny!" Was it true? Could it be true? Could Cartman, the most inconsiderate, egocentric human being in the entire world, actually have feelings for someone other than himself!? Or was he just hungry?

- 0 -

As Luffy walked by their table, Bebe made a quick decision. "LUFFY!" She called. Luffy turned, spotted Bebe and grinned that vampire-like grin of hers.

"Yeah?" she inquired, still smiling.

"Wanna sit with us?" Bebe asked.

"Can I?" Luffy asked excitedly.

"SURE!" Wendy piped in. "We'd love to have you."

"Why the hell not?" Luffy beamed and seated herself next to Wendy. "What up?" she queried, the smile never leaving her cat-like features.

"Nothing much." Bebe replied. This wasn't going too badly. This Luffy character was sweet enough…

"Nothing at all? Don't you have a date with the Jew coming up?" Luffy asked.

"How do you--?" Bebe began, but Luffy cut her off.

"No matter how I know, the point is that I do." Luffy said dismissively. She leaned in. "What day? What time? What are you gonna wear? Any makeup? Hmm? Hmm?"

Taken aback by the fusillade of questions, Bebe didn't answer right away. Wendy marveled at this new girl's ability to 'just come out and ask whatever.'

"Um," Bebe began, "well, I was thinking, I'd wear what I always do…" she gestured to her red coat with the grey trim. "And, I dunno about makeup… and well, um, it's Saturday, I dunno what time." Bebe finished, her cheeks matching the crimson in her coat.

Luffy made a buzzer noise. "Wrong answer!" she shouted. "You need to wear something sexy, but not slutty, slight makeup to accentuate your eyes, and figure out the damn time for god sakes! But, I suggest that you tell Kyle you wanna see a horror movie…"

"What?" Bebe asked, "Why? I hate horror movies, they scare me!"

"Well of course they do!" Luffy shouted, waving her arms wildly. "THAT'S THE POINT! You get scared, and go, 'Oh Kyle, I'm so scared, HOLD ME!" she threw herself onto Wendy as an example.

"Oh." Bebe replied simply, watching as Wendy pushed Luffy off of her.

"You sound knowledgeable," Wendy pointed out, still trying to release herself from Luffy's grasp, "have you done this before?"

Luffy let go of Wendy and flipped her birch coloured hair, adjusting her black shirt, she grinned. "Yup," she smiled her dastardly grin again. "Loads of times."

"Good!" Bebe grinned. "You're coming over my house on Friday, both of you. And you're going to help me!" she stated.

"God no, please Bebe…" Wendy started, but was quickly silenced as Luffy cut in.

"We'll be there. Don't you worry honey, I'll make this you're best first date EVER, no shit." She grinned, sparks of determination flying from her eyes.

"God save me…" Wendy slumped down in her chair, pulling her pink beret over her eyes.


	5. Double Or Nothing

A double date requirement and an obvious Stan/Wendy set-up. Can anyone say "text-book"? I am such a dork when it comes to romance. I was infantile in my writing. It was much too structured. Like I was following a guide to writing fluff.

I really do like how Wendy is written though, just a tad bitchy.

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 5:__ Double or Nothing…_

A hard knock resounded throughout the Stevens' household. Casually flipping her blonde locks from her face, Bebe hopped off of her cushy red couch to answer it.

Bebe opened the door to find an excited Luffy, and annoyed Wendy. Bebe giggled at the sight of Wendy, being lead along like a dog by the hand. Wendy was obviously not too happy about being carted around by this flirtatious girl.

"Come in you guys…" Bebe ushered the girls in roughly. Releasing Wendy's hand from her grip, Luffy surveyed Bebe's home. She grinned and turned to Bebe.

"Nice digs," she smiled playfully and seated herself on Bebe's couch. "What do you want to start with?" she asked.

"I don't know, you're the expert." Bebe answered.

Wendy rolled her violet eyes, "This is so juvenile." She muttered.

"Hey!" Bebe countered "Just because you're pissed off that you dumped Stan for Token, then broke up with him doesn't mean that I can't find love!!!" Wendy blushed angrily glaring at Bebe.

"H—how _dare _you!?" she snarled. "You're such a BITCH!" she screeched. She stopped at the sound of giggling. She and Bebe turned to find Luffy, a hand clamped over her mouth, shaking with laughter. "What's so funny!?" Wendy snapped.

"You two." Luffy replied, still giggling, "It's just so funny. You're obviously in love with Stan and Bebe's just… well… funny." The girls raised their eyebrows. Wendy lowered hers into a glare.

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH STAN!" She growled.

Luffy rolled her eyes and hopped off the couch. "We're gonna have to pick out clothes for your—"Luffy was cut off when Mrs. Stevens entered the room.

"Hello?" Mrs. Stevens inquired the girls. "Bebe honey, who's this?" she gestured to Luffy, who had an overly polite smile plastered on her face.

"This is Luffy Davinport, Mom." Bebe replied. "She's new in our class."

"Oh," Mrs. Stevens beamed, "and what are you girls doing?"

"I've got a date on Saturday." Bebe answered. Her mother's eyebrows rose.

"A date huh?" she asked, her pleasant attitude vanished. "With whom?"

"Kyle Broflovski …" Bebe responded cautiously. Her mother's eyebrows rose so high, they disappeared into her hairline.

"The little Jewish boy?" she bit her lip. "I will only allow you to go on one condition…"

Bebe shivered "What?"

"It has to be a double date. Take Wendy with you." Mrs. Stevens gestured to Wendy, who looked horrified. Bebe's mouth dropped.

"MOM!" Bebe shouted "Wendy can't go! She's _got _a guy she's in love with! She can't just _go on dates _with _OTHER GUYS!_" Wendy glared it her curly haired friend. Then turned to Mrs. Stevens.

"Seeing as I am "unattached" I shall go and keep an eye on Bebe." Wendy said coolly, ice crystals catching on every word. Bebe sighed and nodded. Mrs. Stevens smiled, and then left the room.

Luffy, who had been silent, turned to Bebe and Wendy. "So I need to pick out _two _outfits then???" she grinned. Bebe let her face break into a small smile. Wendy, who obviously still didn't approve of this "double date," glowered.

- 0 -

Meanwhile, at Kyle's abode, Stan and the Broflovski family were enjoying a 'delicious' meal of messuganah and motsa balls. Kyle hadn't touched his food, due to nervousness of the upcoming weekend.

"Kyle?" Mrs. Broflovski asked, putting down he fork, "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Stan knew this was his opportunity to get back at Kyle for the entire situation, for bringing Wendy back into his life. He grinned. "Well Mrs. Broflovski, Kyle has a date with Bebe Stevens on Saturday!" Kyle dropped his fork, it hit his plate with a clatter, but he didn't care, he turned to Stan. A look of pure exasperation bled from his eyes, Stan could only snicker.

"Kyle? Is this true?" she asked. Her son's increase in color was answer enough.

"Well, I think that's just great!" Mr. Broflovski smiled at his son, and then turned to his wife.

"Ah bo ba ba!" Ike interjected.

"Exactly Ike," Mrs. Broflovski agreed, "I think Kyle's too young to go out on a date alone, he needs to bring Stan with him."

"WHAT!?" Stan and Kyle shouted the question, or rather, spat it out so harshly Mrs. Broflovski flew back a few feet.

"I'm not going to change my mind, if Stan doesn't go, Kyle doesn't go!" Mrs. Broflovski snapped. And of course, as we all know by now, Kyle's mom is a bitch and her mind cannot be changed… unless you want your face rearranged.

[AN: HAHAHAHA THAT RHYMED!]

"Stan'd love to go, wouldn't ya Stan?" Kyle glared at Stan. This was his fault in the first place… HE SHOULD SUFFER! And by look on his face… he was. Kyle felt a slight twinge of joy.

Stan sighed and glared at Kyle. "Fine!"

Mrs. Broflovski grinned and clapped her hands together once. "Great!" Kyle and Stan glowered at her with looks that obviously said that this whole situation wasn't so great.

"I'm done," Kyle pushed is motsa balls away from him and stood up.

"Me too." Stan agreed; his voice came out harsher than he had meant is to sound. Stan threw his napkin down on his plate and pushed his chair out.

Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski watched their receding backs as the two boys stomped up the stairs, bickering quietly. As soon as the boys disappeared into Kyle's room with the slam of a door, Mr. Broflovski turned to glare at his wife.

"Sheila!" he snapped, "That wasn't a good idea! Who the hell is Bebe supposed to bring?! Wendy!? Don't you keep up with the situations at all? Wendy broke up with Stan! And what if Bebe doesn't bring anyone? Poor Stan will be the third wheel! Are you crazy?! What do you think they're gonna do?! HAVE SEX!? I'm sure Kyle could've handled it on his own." Mr. Broflovski panted as he ended his rant.

"Jesus, Gerald! Settle down!" Mrs. Broflovski barked out the order. Mr. Broflovski cowered under the power his wife was generating. It was hard for him to say it aloud, but Gerald Broflovski was afraid of his wife. But, who wouldn't be? Sheila Broflovski was a short, loud, powerful, Jewish woman. Who wouldn't be terrified of her?

An uncomfortable silence was broken by Ike; who took it upon himself to state the obvious. "Ma ma, bo Da da… ba bo stoopid." His parents glared at him.

- 0 -

Stan sat on Kyle's bed, knees drawn to his chest, glowering at his friend, who was pacing the room. Stan sighed loudly, in an annoyed voice. Kyle ignored him and continued to pace. Stan sighed louder, in an even more annoyed tone. Kyle continued to pay no attention to him. Stan glared and threw a Terrance plushie at Kyle's head.

"Ouch!" Kyle was knocked out of his dream world by the small brown haired doll. "Damn it Stan, what was that about!?"

"I don't wanna do this Kyle, I'm going to be the third wheel." Stan grumbled, pulling his knees tighter to his chest.

"No, I'm calling Bebe, she'll bring someone with her." Kyle said.

"Yeah?" Stan snarled sarcastically, "And who do you think that'll be? Who's her best friend in the entire world? Who does she eat lunch with everyday? Who-" Kyle waved Stan off.

"You know you wanna go with Wendy anyway." Kyle said as he picked up the phone. Stan opened his mouth, but he knew Kyle was right. He _did _want to go with Wendy, but Wendy would rather rip off all her toenails one-by-one with needle-nose pliers than go with him.

Stan watched as Kyle dialed the numbers. He felt the familiar twinge in his stomach. He swallowed the vomit that always seemed to creep up his throat whenever Wendy was mentioned.

Kyle put down the phone and pressed **Speaker Phone**. They were both silent as the low ring resounded throughout the bedroom. A sudden click made them both perk up.

"Heyo?" A voice that was neither Bebe's nor Wendy's, suddenly, Kyle recognized it.

"You're that new girl! What are you—" Kyle began, but Luffy cut him off.

"My name's Luffy, Kyle!" she giggled, "Glad you remembered me. Bebe and Wendy are indisposed right now. Girl stuff." More giggles. "I'm getting them ready for their dates… OH!" Kyle and Stan jumped back as Luffy yelped. "Bebe didn't tell you!" Luffy stressed, mumbling to herself. "Mrs. Stevens said that it had to be a double date, and Wendy volunteered to go with her."

Stan's stomach jumped. Her burped slightly. "_Volunteered!?_" he shouted in glee. Kyle eyed him, and he shrunk back into himself, blushing ferociously.

A torrent of giggles burst from Luffy's end, "Yeah, Stan! She volunteered; I honestly can tell you so." Kyle could hear that toothy grin of hers in her voice.

"Yeah," Kyle continued from where he was so rudely interrupted. "anyway, my 'rents said it had to be a double date too, and I'm bringing—"

"STAN!" Luffy's end of the line shook with excitement. "I _know_! I mean, who else would you bring!? WHEEEEE! This is going to be _awesome_!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stan couldn't help asking, "Are you on a sugar high?"

"YES I AM!" Luffy shrieked. "Anyway, on Saturday, show up at Bebe's at 5:00 P.M. I'll have them ready by then. Bring Cartman or you don't get the girls." Her voice turned considerably darker than her usual bright tone.

"Is that a threat?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow that Luffy couldn't see. He took his index finger and swirled it in a circle at the side of his left, green earflap.

"Yes, yes it is." Luffy said. "Okay, I gotta go—AH! BEBE! NO! THE WAX IS TOO HOT! DON'T THROW IT OVER HERE! _SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!"_ There was a dial tone. Stan and Kyle stared at the machine for another ten seconds before Kyle clicked it off.

"Wow…" Stan said finally. "Cartman's got himself a live wire."

"No," Kyle sneered. "He's got himself a sugar addicted psychopathic weirdo!" They laughed; their hostile feelings towards each other forgotten. For the time being…


	6. Luffy Can't Sew

Boy has it been forever! I miss you guys! This chapter kind of sucks. The end with Luffy and Stan becoming friends is kind of sappy. I don't want to Mary-Sue Luffy, but she needs to get closer to the boys, to join Wendy and Bebe in the inner-circle.

Another extremely short chapter.

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 6:__ Luffy Can't Sew_

Luffy whimpered as she nursed the burns on her hands and arms. She had to wait for the wax to harden before she could chip it off her skin.

"I really am sorry…" Bebe apologized.

"I know." Luffy smiled. "I don't really care… but I _have _to get to sewing those outfits before it's too late." She stood up and walked over to her backpack, which she had discarded upon coming into Bebe's house.

She unzipped the green bag and fished out a few pieces of fabric and a sewing kit. Wendy and Bebe watched in amazement as Luffy clicked the box open and got to work.

Wendy and Bebe watched as a comedy of errors began to unfold before them as the clumsy girl began to "thread" the needle. If you could call it threading; because what Luffy was doing was more or less, tying a giant knot to the end of the needle head.

By the end of this process; she'd already wasted half the thread in failed knots. Once she was satisfied, Luffy slid the needle through the fabric. It pierced her hand. She yelped quietly, as if she's done this before. Which, they both silently noted, she probably had.

As she continued to "sew" Luffy pierced her hands thirty seven more times, staining the yellow fabric red, before Wendy finally stepped in. Taking the fabric mess from Luffy's hands and sighing. "Why don't we use something we already own?"

Luffy's eyes widened. She hadn't considered this possibility. "OKAY!" She agreed immediately, hopping up with more excitement that the situation deserved.

- 0 -

"What are you doing?" Stan asked Kyle in an annoyed voice. As he observed the red haired boy rip through his closet frantically, showering the room with clothes.

A laugh escaped the chubby haired boy sitting next to Stan. Stan turned to face Cartman. "What?" he questioned.

"He wants everything to be just perfect for his date tomorrow with that whore!" Cartman chortled.

"I seem to remember a little fat Vietnamese whore who fucked more celebrities than Bebe ever has!" Kyle shot back. Glaring at Cartman, who blushed at the recollection.

"THAT WAS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT ANYWAY!" Cartman seethed. "And why am I here anyway?" Cartman threw himself back into Kyle's pillows.

"You're our bargaining chip. We'll need you tomorrow if we want to even get our dates. That Luffy's really weird." Kyle threw a shirt, it landed on Stan's head.

"Yeah," Stan agreed, pulling the shirt from his face, "she really is kind of… off." Stan grinned, waiting for Cartman's response. He wasn't disappointed.

Cartman's round face turned as red as his parka. "She… she is not." Cartman averted his gaze. "She's just… she's just…" What could he say? What was she just…?

Stan snickered. "I thought so, you're in love,"

"WHAT!?" Cartman screeched, shaking dust from the ceiling.

Stan snickered, "Me thinks doth protest too much!!!" Cartman glared.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT FUCK YOU!" he screeched.

Kyle turned to glare at the two boys on his bed. "Shut up!" he hissed, "You don't want my mom coming up here, do you!?"

"No, not really." Stan stuck out his tongue at Kyle. "But can we just stop all this? I want to go to bed! What does it matter what we wear?"

"Because I don't want to look like him when we go out!" Kyle jabbed his thumb in Cartman's direction. Cartman glared, but bit back his words.

- 0 -

Outside, Luffy was skipping down Kyle's street, unaware of where she actually was, seeing as she hadn't bothered to stalk Kyle and learn where he lived.

Her hands were cut and bloody from various needle pokes, and covered in band-aids of various glow-in-the-dark colors. She hummed as she skipped, vaguely aware of her surroundings, or the rock in front of her.

_SLAM!_

Luffy hit the ground at full speed, throwing out her hand in front of her; which was the stupidest thing she could have done. Pain shot through her hands as the bandages frayed and peeled, cutting open the barley healed cuts and adding new ones.

Tears spilled from her eyes as she pushed herself up, swearing. She would never make it home with these. She didn't want to. Her mother was a nurse, and if she went home with cuts, she could guarantee that there would be shots and peroxide. She shivered. Then she noticed a light on in a near window. Maybe they had some antiseptic…

- 0 -

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! _The sound resounded throughout the Broflovski household.

"Who the fuck is that?" Kyle glared, tossing the shirt in his hand on the floor, walking for the door. Stan pushed himself up and followed Kyle out the door.

Cartman sat on the bed, absentmindedly flipping through a book he'd brought over, entitled _One Thousand Ways to Make Ten Million Dollars_.

Kyle took the stairs three at a time, with Stan at his heels. "Who could it be?" Stan queried, as Kyle unlatched the silvery door lock with the Star of David pattern.

"Do you have any antiseptic?" the smiling face of Luffy greeted the boys. Suddenly, the smile was replaced by a look of surprise.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?" All three of them asked at once.

Kyle glared. "I LIVE HERE! ARE YOU STALKING ME!?" he shouted.

Luffy raised an eyebrow and stated plainly, "No, I'm stalking Cartman. But that's not the point!" she held out her beaten and bloody hands. "Can I have a little help here?"

Stan and Kyle surveyed the damage on her hands. Stan took one in his and studied it. "What did you do?" he asked, eyes wide. "This is brutal!"

"I tried to sew…" Luffy stated plainly. "Help?"

"Fine," Kyle stepped aside to let her come into his household. The boys watched as she surveyed the room. Luffy was immediately thrilled, and it showed on her face. She made sure not to touch anything as she studied the décor of Kyle's household.

She grinned as she eyed the menorahs and tiny soap sculptures from Kyle and Ike's day at Jewbilee. She turned to Kyle and Stan, birch eyes shining, vampire-like grin prominent. "Nice digs."

Kyle smiled. Maybe she wasn't so crazy after all. He turned to walk up the stairs. "I'll be back in a minute. Let me get the first aid kit." Kyle's green earflaps bounced as he bounded up the stairs; leaving Stan and Luffy alone.

Luffy sat down on Kyle's plushy cornflower blue couch and turned to face Stan, examining him with her deep eyes.

"What happened?" Luffy asked, Stan raised an eyebrow, he had an inkling what she was talking about, but he wasn't going to answer right away.

"What happened with what?" Stan inquired.

"Not with what," Luffy corrected, "with whom. What happened with you and Wendy? You're obviously still in love with her, and Bebe told me that you used to date…" Stan blushed.

"We did…" he replied, sitting down next to Luffy, sighing. "And I do. Still like her, I mean."

"Why don't you just say so?" Luffy asked. "She likes you, I'm sure of it…"

Stan perked up. "REALLY?" he turned to her.

"Positive." Luffy smiled, "But you didn't hear if from me…"

Stan grinned. "Of course not,"

"Will you tell me what happened now?" Luffy queried. Stan's smile fell, and he sat back in the couch. He nodded slowly.

"She dumped me for Token." He began simply. "I went psycho for a while. Became a Goth kid, wrote dark poems, wore all black, tried to smoke, I totally sucked at it…" Luffy gave a small smile and patted his arm, leaving small, bloody prints. "Eventually, I told Wendy I didn't love her, and to fuck off. But it was such a huge lie…"

Luffy hugged him, staining his coat. "I can understand. If you love her half as much as I already love Cartman, this must be tearing you up." A slightly stunned Stan nodded, and Luffy let go. "Don't worry." She smiled. "Everything will be perfect."

"I hope your right…" Stan sighed.

"What's going on?" Kyle trotted down the stairs, first aid kit in hand.

"Nothing," Stan smiled. Luffy returned the smile knowingly. Kyle raised an eyebrow, he had a feeling that he had just walked in on a sappy moment, and he didn't like it.

"Here," Kyle kneeled down in front of Luffy, who held out her hands willingly, and he began to bandage them. "Look, you can't stay long, okay?" Kyle didn't look up from his task; wrapping the cottony bands around Luffy's mutilated hands. "If my mom catches you, we're all dead…"

Luffy giggled, "So she's a bitch?"

Stan snickered, "Isn't she though?"

Kyle couldn't mask the smile on his face, what could he say? _Defend _his mother? Nah, he didn't feel like it. He was having fun; finally, a little less stressed for the first time in days.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING DOWN THERE!?!" Cartman's annoyed voice wafted from up the stairs.

"_CARTMAN'S HERE!?_" Luffy shrieked. _Oh lord, _Kyle thought, _Here we go… _


	7. Dress For Success, But Don't Look Gay

A _very _short chapter. This consists of a lot of fashion. Looking back I am unsure if I like the final outfits, but whatever. I am too lazy to waste my time re-writing this story when I have "Salty Kisses" and "Yours, Mine, & Ours" to work on.

**Main Pair: **Stan/Wendy  
**Pairings: **Kyle/Bebe, Cartman/OC

South Park © Trey Parker & Matt Stone  
Fanfiction © Courtney Dracon (LuffySP)

* * *

_Chapter 7:__ Dress for Success (But Don't Look Gay)_

"Come out," Luffy called to Kyle's closet, lazily pushing herself back into Cartman, as though he was a mobile pillow. When Cartman didn't object, she didn't move. Instead, Cartman decided to join her in shouting.

"Yeah, come on out you gay wads! Or are you pulling a Tom Cruise in that closet!?" Cartman bellowed through the closet door, cupping his hands around her mouth.

Luffy giggled dismissively; she obviously was completely oblivious to Cartman's rude nature. And if she was aware, she didn't give a shit. "Just come on out," Luffy sighed, popping a coffee bean into her mouth from the can beside her.

"Fine, but I feel gay," Kyle said, pushing open the closet door to reveal himself and Stan. Kyle was in a tightly fitted Hawaiian T-shirt and blue spandex shorts. He blushed at the exposure. Kyle clenched his eyes closed; absentmindedly pushing down his crimson fro.

Stan was another story entirely. He was in a tight, silvery shirt that would have looked at home on Professor Chaos and black leather hot pants. He couldn't have looked any more like Michael Jackson if he'd tried.

When Kyle opened his eyes he found Luffy and Cartman sitting up. There cheeks red from repressed laughter.

A dam broke loose. Laughs loud enough to make Stan and Kyle cower exploded from the two on the bed. Eventually, Cartman fell off the bed and began pounding the floor; while Luffy clutched her stomach in pain from overusing her diaphragm.

"Please…oh seriousla'… jeezus." He wheezed, his pounding of the floor becoming less harsh as he ran out of air and flopped down on his stomach; still shaking with silent laughter.

"Go… back… in… the… closet!" Luffy panted, clutching her stomach, pointing her free hand at Kyle's closet. She was smart enough to know that if they didn't remove those clothes, and quick, she wouldn't stop laughing.

Kyle and Stan obliged immediately, not wanting to be embarrassed any further, after all, Cartman had been known to post humiliating Polaroids of them on the internet. Stan slammed the closet door and there was a lot of shuffling.

Cartman was half-tempted to make a gay comment about the noises coming from the closet, but he happened to be dining on a Snacky Smore and didn't want to waste the time. Luffy didn't bother either, since it in fact, didn't occur to her in the first place, not being inclined to pick out being gay as something to poke fun at… but that's not important!

- 0 -

After about fifteen minutes of changing, in which Stan had to come out of the actual closet and have all three of the his friends help him tug off his skin tight pants. The boys finally came out again, wearing another set of outfits Luffy had chosen for them.

Even Cartman was quiet.

Luffy grinned. "You look fantastic." She breathed, amazed at her own sense of fashion and how handsome her new friends looked.

Kyle wore a tight fitting, tapered orange shirt with a silky green tie. He also sported green girl's jeans that made his ass look taught and toned. Kyle adjusted the forest green hat he'd only worn once before for the brief time that he was meterosexual. He smiled, viewing himself in the mirror.

Stan pushed his black hair back and pulled up his baggy, but not oversized, blue jeans. He also wore a brown, frayed vest over a red shirt. He tugged on his fingerless brown gloves and pushed up his usual hat. Stan grinned, thanking Luffy and posing for himself in the mirror next to Kyle.

"You're gonna knock 'em dead!" Luffy beamed. "Good luck." She hugged them both; and noticing, to her pleasure, that Cartman looked extremely jealous, so she attacked him in a hug.

"Thanks." Kyle said. "Now before this gets too sappy and I get annoyed with you, get out of my house!"

Luffy smirked. "_Can do…_"


End file.
